It's Been Six Months!

6 months ago, Inna and Vitali arrived in America and joined us as a family in their new home! It has been a wild ride so far at the Hall home with lots of ups and downs, lots of laughing and crying, lots of tantrums and behaving, lots of frustration with the "too hard" and celebration with the "made it through", lots of missing friends and making friends, lots of talks about the past and talks about the future, lots of calls to be on Jerry Springer(just checking to see if you are still there...Ha! :)lots of difficult doctor's visits and thankfulness for the easy visits, lots of expected struggles and lots of unexpected miracles, lots of learning what love is and what it is not. Anyway, you get the picture....

If you are another adoptive parent, you are familiar with "Gotcha Day" and for those who arent, Gotcha Day is usually the day most adoptive parents celebrate once a year of when their family came together. A lot of people celebrate Gotcha Day as the day that their child came out of the orphanage forever, but we are going to celebrate our Gotcha Day on the day that Inna and Vitali came home and we were ALL together since when they came out of the orphanage we couldnt all be there. I know a lot of families go to dinner on this day, but I would love to hear any other ideas of how your family celebrates this day.

To celebrate 6 mos, I am posting some pics below of when we first met in Ukraine and now...I will go from youngest to oldest....

Vitali in Ukraine:






Vitali now:







Grant in Ukraine:



Grant now:







Inna in Ukraine the first day we met:



Inna now:



Jason in Ukraine:


Jason now:


Mel in Ukraine:

Mel now:




Adoption "stuff" we have learned along the way #3:
We were given this advice by one of our social workers, I may have touched on this in an earlier post (can't remember). In Ukraine, the kids are not supposed to take anything with them from the orphanage. Now, can you imagine that you are leaving the place where you live now, except that you cannot take one thing with you, not even your clothes, not even one thing familiar to you. Inna's and Vitali's orphanage did allow them to wear the clothes they had on out of the orphanage(this is not the norm from what I understand), but this is absolutely all that Inna had to bring with her from her past was the clothes on her back and when she got home, she actually wanted to send those back in case the other girls needed them. Our social worker recommended buying a few things that you could ask the orphanage director if you could trade out the new things to leave at the orphanage for your child's familiar things....like new sheet for the child's sheet they are used to sleeping on with familiar feel and smell, new toy for maybe your child's favorite toy at the orphanage, new clothes for an outfit they are used to wearing, etc... Don't forget to ask for any pictures. Our kid's orphanages did not have any pics to give us, but you never know if you don't ask. We were able to get Vitali's hat from the orphanage (the one you see in a lot of his pics from Ukraine) and he loves that hat. He even wore it around the house in the summer some. Also, his prize possession is his "Meeska", which is a little mouse that was given to him when he left his orphanage. He sleeps with it every night, took it the first day of school here in America, and likes to carry it around with him. It has been very obvious how much it means to him and every night when I give him a kiss for bed, he holds Meeska up for me to kiss goodnight. Hope this helps some!

Comments:
Ukrainiac~ Loved hearing about your patriotism all the way from Ukraine! I am so glad you are able to send in the absentee vote! Grant will appreciate that too when he runs for president :)

Dad~ nope...our candidate did'nt win this time...glad you joined me in American pride on voting day at the polls though :) Now, just praying for our country and new leaders!!!

Mrs. Huff~ We did see your comment on the slide show. Thanks for letting us know that you checked on us. Inna saw some papers a few weeks ago that ya'll had worked on and she said, "I miss Mrs. Huff". Hope you are doing well!

Did You Vote Yet Today??

Does anyone else get emotional inside standing in line to vote...or is just me??? In a long line of many people commenting on just how long the lines are, etc.... (By the way, I have never understood why if we know we are going to be in a long line beforhand, why most people don't catch up on some good reading or even a magazine they enjoy...I have always brought a book with me and the time goes by so quickly) I always find myself feeling a little teary eyed and feeling really patriotic on voting days, especially for president (Actually, being a woman, I probably get teary eyed on many days for many things). I am not always exactly sure why except that on voting days I remember how blessed I am to live in a country with such freedoms to vote for my beliefs and I think it always reminds me of the values our country was founded on and the blessings that we live under in America as a direct result of being a nation established as ONE NATION UNDER GOD and how so many in the past have given their lives for the cause and then I think of the efforts of some to move our country away from these very things that we were founded on and that makes us a blessed nation and then I think Caleb (my brother) joining the military this year has brought a new meaning to voting this year too! I know Caleb's heart and why he joined was because he felt that this was what God called him to do for this time and has come to love his country so much that he feels honored at 26 yrs old to put his life on hold to serve his country and from his letters to us, they are telling him he can probably expect to go to war in the upcoming year. He seems to be making a big impact in his platoon. He says church is Awesome and he has been able to share about the Lord to so many of the men there and in his last letter he said that they are reading scriptures together and he gave his Bible away to one of the guys didnt have one ( I didnt even know that and in the last letter we sent him, we filled in the whole back page with scripture so he could just have some in front of him...GOD IS SO GOOD!) He said they now have, most of the guys in his platoon going to church together there. We are going to his graduation at the end of this month in Oklahoma...probably another teary eyed day, haha!!!

Anyway, hope you exercise your right to vote!!

By the way, Grant has already told Vitali last week that one day Grant will be the president of the U.S. and Vitali will be the president of Ukraine! I told them a few of the special priveledge that Mama hopes to have if that happens, haha!!!
He just looked at me like, "No, I am serious" and I could see those wheels turning of all that he would do if he were president. Those wheels are always turning and I am so thankful because he is very insightful and has so much discernment regarding people, he catches things that mama and daddy miss sometimes.
One cute story from the other day was we were all somewhere and someone gave us the question if we could meet any person in the world who would it be...and when it got to my turn, I was really stumped...you know there is a million people I want to meet, but you know how your mind goes blank when you are put on the spot. I just kept continuing to think and Grant said, "Oh, I bet I know...I bet you would love to meet Sojourner Truth"...WOW...SOJOURNER TRUTH (I didnt even know he knew who she was yet) and to think my limited mind was more on the lines of someone like Kelly Rippa, haha!!! I said, "Oh YEAH, YES, I WOULD"!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!

Fall Fun!!!

We have had a fun week of the pumpkin patch, school parties, and Fall Festivals! Vitali and Mama went on a field trip with his class at school to the pumpkin patch in Clanton, AL. The first pic is of Vitali on the hayride to get to the pumpkin patch. I think he was most impressed by the tractor pulling us. Then, when we got off the hayride, he began looking for his perfect pumpkin (I think we actually picked up every pumpkin in the patch) and of course the day wouldnt be complete without falling head first into a burr bush...so somehow he managed to fall right in the middle of it head first and came out covered in burrs, even in his hair. I don't know what kind it was, but it felt like thorns, much sharper than it looked. The third pic is of the final pumpkin that he picked :)

These are of Vitali's school party.


Fall Festival Night:
Holidays are a lot of fun, because it is neat to see them experience for the first time the things that we are so used to having every year. They had a great time and Inna said, can we do this all again tomorrow! Grant dressed up as Price Caspian from Narnia for school, but then decided to be a football player that night. Vitali was Thomas the Tank Engine, but Inna kept telling people he was Tom and Jerry because she forgot what it was called and so Vitali starting thinking that too and started answering that he was "Jerry" for Tom and Jerry until I reminded him that he was Thomas...it was so funny! He actually has come to love Thomas the Train since being home, but with the new language, they sometimes get their words switched around...it adds some extra fun into an already great time!






Last are a few of Grant's football pics at The Lions stadium where he played. Football season just ended and he had a great time and made a lot of great friends! He is now moving on to wrestling which is another thing he has wanted to do for a while, but we had him wait until this year. I don't know how he could love it as much as he loved football, but we'll see and he is just waiting for football to start back up already for next year. In the pic of the teams on the field, he is in the maroon jersey on the field closest to my camera. He has also really into Alabama football now and waits with excitement to watch the games! Roll Tide by the way!

Where does time go?

Wow..it feels like we just posted a couple weeks ago and it has already been a month!
We have had a busy 2 weeks...it seems the doctors visits hit all at once again and then just when we were done with the scheduled visits we had a round of Strep throat for each kid starting with Inna, Vitali, and then Grant. It is so funny their different personalities...Inna is always saying something different is hurting at all the time :), so when she is REALLY sick, she REALLY enjoys a lot of snuggles :), Vitali has learned from being in the orphanage not to pay attention to pain (It is getting a little better though) and has a VERY VERY VERY high pain tolerance, so we have no idea he is sick or hurt himself until we see blood or some other sign. So, we had no idea he had Strep until he broke out in a rash with hives all over his body and the doc said it was Strep. He never slowed down one bit the whole time he was sick. Grant on the other hand, gets sick, gets a fever, but fights the thought of being sick until usually after going to the doctor and then he decides he wants mommy or daddy to lay down with him until he recovers :) If you have never seen a strep rash, neither had I...this pic is Vitali with his rash, except it was from head to toe...I took this pic for the doc just in case it went away before our appt time, but he actually had the welps for 3 days

Believe it or not, it is almost time for our 6 mos post adoption assessment in our home. Our agency's social worker will be coming back out to do the 6 mos. reports. We LOVE her...she is so sweet and keeps in touch with us in between meetings.

The kids are really beginning to have some great play time together at home. They are definitely the typical bro/sis with loving to play together at times and then the sibling rivalry at times. Vitali in this past month has began to join in playing with them...all 3 love to build tents complete with their own sections for rooms and then they decorate them. Grant & Vitali love to play football together, that is usually at least once each day and Grant loves to be the tough coach with all the coach lingo! Inna and Grant are GREAT about taking turns playing what each other likes...they even have voluntarily helped each other clean each others rooms and then will tell me they have a "surprise" for me :)
Inna has had some great times at school and also some real challenges at school. She is picking up her work rather quickly considering that she had not been taught much in many subjects in Ukraine. For example, she was just learning to add in Math there where as you know in 4th grade, we are doing division and such here. She is working to catch up and I know it has to be hard for her, but she has a special teacher at her school for International students that understands the situation and has been a God send for Inna and us...they are helping her at her level to try to get through this year of adjustments and we will take it a year at a time. She has also started carrying over some of the behavior from her orphanage into school here in a America, like fighting...YIKES!! At her school at the orphanage it would be nothing to hit, push, get in fights, etc...with each other (It's survival) and Inna has learned to be quite a tough girl over the years, but I can also say that we are seeing breakthroughs all the time and a softer side come out and I know that God has divinely placed each teacher that she has this year, because they tell me all the time how much they love her and want to see her come through this and do well and I can tell they really do!!! I surprised her and showed up for lunch last week and she was so excited she started crying and when we went in the lunchroom all the way through people were saying, "Hey Inna" so she seems to have made many friends and of course she gives every teacher a hug all the way down the halls :)

Grant is absolutely loving football!! He told me that he felt sorry for his son one day because he is going to always talk about football and make him run plays. This whole football season he has been covered in bruises on arms and legs, but hasnt complained...it just looks bad! He has been pumped this week because the YMCA is trying to promote playing sports and having good academics at the same time, so they are working with the schools of the kids who play a sport at the Y and made the honor roll at the same time to reward them, so he is getting his pic on the honor board at the Y and getting a free meal at his ABSOLUTE favorite restaurant, Long Horn. His favorite meal is Salmon from there, so they didnt know it, but that was probably the best reward they could have given him :)

Vitali is still loving his school!! I can't say enough about his teachers...they go above and beyond!! We are very blessed that special ed will be going out to his school to give him therapy while he is there. He will begin with with speech therapy and cognitive therapy for now. I am just so excited for him to get started although...WOW...I can not say enough about how much he has changed since being here. We actually finished all of his dental work today...it has been 4 visits of dental work and we are done until cleanings now....YEA!!!! They told me at the dentist today that the change in him of when he first started coming to them until today is unbelievable...they said, we only see him every once in a while, but we can see a real difference. Of course, friends and family tell us a lot they see it, but it was just encouraging to hear that from them today. He is getting so strong and loves to do hand stands and flips...matter of fact this is an all day thing!! Last week, one of the biggest changes I noticed was in his drawing. At the orphanage and since we have been home, his way of drawing was to kind of stare at the paper, fist the pencil or crayon and draw a line from top to bottom of page over and over...Last week, he shocked me...he came up to me and drew his first object where he drew a circle and told me it was a circle...I was so excited for him and he was too!!! He learned this at school. Oh, and he is officially potty trained now...WOOHOO!!!!

Quick update for those of you who know Caleb: He is doing great and actually loves basic training. He said he has good drill sergents that seem to have really good morals. He most dislikes waking up at 4am and says he is homesick, but enjoying at the same time. I can't remember if he said he has 40 or 60 people in his platoon, but he is the platoon leader for his platoon. Please keep him in your prayers!

I am going to try to post a short video of each kid and hopefully will start on next post.

Adoption "Stuff" we have learned along the way #2:
This one will be a list called, "Don't Assume" just in case it might help someone. If you are another adoptive parent, we would love to hear your "Don't assumes" you have found helpful along the way that you can share....

In Ukraine, Don't assume that the older child you are adopting knows that they are being adopted in a FOREVER family. We explained every detail through translator about adoption and what that would mean for her. The kids at these orphanages see many kids coming and going for hosting programs...they will leave for a few weeks to a month and then come back, so you have to explain, so that they will not think they are going on a hosting trip, but going to be in a family forever!!! We talked to Inna about this the first day we met and asked her if this is what she wanted (I think it is good to ask even though you know they are going to say yes, so they feel a part of the decision). I still remember our conversation and how she lit up like a light and said, "YES, YES, YES"!

Also, In Ukraine, Don't Assume that they understand the events of the next days when they leave the orphanage...I think it is a good idea to explain in detail through translator...We wrote a letter for our translator to read to Inna with every detail of where she would go once we left the translator because of the different languages...including what will happen on the plane and how they would stop and get off the plane and then back on, etc...because if they wonder what is happening at any time, you may not be able to explain. We also wrote for him to read to tell her that she can trust us and explained many things about our family etc... (this is important for them to hear from a caregiver they have known or like in our case, Inna seemed to trust our facilitator as much as any caregiver so he read the letter). Here is the reason I say this...We were told by one of our facilitators while in Ukraine about an orphan that was adopted there and the visits went great with the new parents, but when they left the orphanage and went to board the plane, the child totally freaked out and started screaming and refusing to get on the plane. The parents wisely decided to not go that day and see if they could calm the child down. They went back to the orphanage to see if one of the caregivers could make sense of it and the child admitted that the other kids in the orphanage had teased the child that this family was only being nice during the visits to get them back to America to do away with them (but with details that I wont share). So, the family had that caregiver that the child knew talked to the child of how they could trust this family and that it was all a lie. From that our facilitator suggest having a letter ready for the caregiver to read.

Last one....Don't assume that they have been taught stuff already, chances are whether they are 6 or 16, no one has taken the time yet to teach them. I mean like, thinking of teaching things like you would a toddler...basic hygeine:showering, brushing teeth, toileting, etc...I remember when we were in Ukraine having a dinner conversation with other adoptive families and we getting closer to getting our kids out of the orphanage and we were all like, what should we do with an older kid at shower time....we don't want to embarass them. Well, since we have been home, I have not talked to a parent yet that hasnt had the same experience (and even some adoptions from America) It doesnt matter if they are 16, they will probably need you to explain these things in detail from beginning to end and from my experience and all the others I have talked to if they are like ours, they will not be embarassed at all, but in fact will be so thankful that you took the time to show them and they want to know. One thing that was very helpful to us was a book a friend gave me called American girl, "The Care and Keeping of You" and especially when the language is not there yet. It has lots of pictures and explains many basic things that they need to know.

Anybody, got any to add?

A few more pics:
1. This is how they like to watch t.v. sometimes.

Family Photos

We finally had some "official" family photos taken. I added some to the slide show and the rest below:

Vitali Starts School & Grant's 1st Football Game

This week was an exciting week, especially for Grant and Vitali. Vitali started Mother's Day Out 2 days a week at a local church here. It was not as easy as I thought to find a place for him, but in the end we were thankful that so many doors closed, because it led us to the perfect place! Many schools werent equipped or said that they didnt have the staff for special need's, but finally (it actually was the last number on my list) I called the school he is going to and the director was wonderful and I knew right off that this was what we were waiting for and she immediately knew the exact class that would be perfect for him. The teachers are very compassionate and Vitali really likes them! His first day was Thursday and he was very proud to go! He is most proud of his car "masheena" as he calls it, lunch box. It is almost as big as he is, but he carries it around everywhere in the house, car, stores, etc... He also took his favorite mouse the first day..he calls, "Meeska" his only toy brought home from his orphanage. Here are a couple pics from the first day:

About to leave with the BIG lunchbox, "Meeska", and balloons from church the night before to play with in the car:

Pic with teachers:



Grant did have his first football game, which is played at the same stadium that the Prattville Lions play on, which was a big deal for him. He had a great time and even got some good blocks in and tackled the other team's guy running with the ball once. This age has been really cute to watch, especially since they look like all helmet :) Unfortunately, I did not get any good pics at the game because my camera quit working again while we were there. I will have to borrow Tiff's for the next game until we can get a new one. I did have this one pic of practice when running back after water break.

A few pics of Inna at gymnastics:
Striking a pose:



I keep forgetting to answer the question of when is their b-days from a while back:
Inna- Feb 28
Grant- June 28
Vitali- April 10

Also~ I have decided to add a new section to the end of each post in hopes that it may be helpful to other adoptive parents of things that we have found to work well for us or any good info that we have learned along the way in our adoption, through reading, other adoptive families, social worker, clinics, prayer :) If you are an adoptive parent and want to add any info that you think may be helpful or your experience with the subject, feel free. There is so much that we have learned, I am not sure where to even begin, but here we go:

Adoption "stuff" that we have learned along the way:
One issue that we were having when first arriving home is that there are 3 kids and 2 parents and how to juggle tucking them all in bed and prayer and bedtime story, and any wrapping up the day bedtime conversation (especially, when they all wanted mama to be the one to do it and there is one mama, haha). We were given some great advice by our social worker to try having an end of the night family time right before bedtime where we read a story, pray, and then talk about what will happen the next day. It was explained to us that talking about the events that will happen the next day is important when adopting older children who have been through any past trauma because there lives have been so unpredictable before now and with the fears that they face, they need to have the security of knowing some of what is planned for the next day, even if we share just one thing that is planned (if nothing major planned, could even be what we are having for dinner) (and that it involves that our new family will still be together :) Then, after the family time, we start tucking in one by one and the ones that arent being tucked first have a quiet time in their room reading a book, coloring, listening to music until mommy and daddy can get there. All of this has worked great for our family!

Post again soon!

Labor Day Lemonade Stand & Saying Goodbye to Uncle Caleb!

One great thing about living in Alabama is the warm weather, even in September (Although, I know that everyone doesnt enjoy the hot weather lasting so long as much as we do :) We took full advantage of the sun on Labor Day by letting the kids have a lemonade stand and they had a great time! Inna and Grant had lots of customers and enjoyed making their money! When Grant decided that he had made enough, they split their money and he went inside, but Inna decided she wasnt going to quit until there was absolutely no lemonade left to make! Here is a couple of pics from their fun day:


Vitali watching the action from the shade~



The rest of the evening was spent saying our goodbye's to my brother Caleb (Uncle KK) who many of you know. He actually joined the Army and left for Boot Camp last week. We were sad to see him go as we are so used to him being with us often, but at the same are excited for him as we know that he spent much time in prayer and talking to many others that he respects before making the decision. He has had many friends in his prayer groups over the years that are in the Air Force, but he said, that he just really felt led to the Army. He took the test that they take and scored really hi on it and had the option of many jobs. The position he took will be learning the procedures to launch Patriot Missiles. He will be at Boot Camp for 9 weeks in Oklahoma and then train for his job in Texas until March. Then, more than likely will be deployed or if not deployed, he will probably be living overseas for about 3 yrs from what he has been told. So, you can see why this felt like a BIG goodbye! Of course, right now, just have to get through Boot Camp! By the way, I told Jason and Caleb that I blamed Jason for sending my brother off because of all the times Jason got Caleb to come over to watch "The Band of Brother's" movies with him (A series of about 10 Military movies that they love). Really, we are all proud of him and those of you who know him, please pray for him! I will probably add a few quick updates on our blog as we receive letters since he cannot contact anyone any other way right now.
Comments:
Lara~ Thanks for checking on us...contact us when you move back!

Stephanie~ I am so glad to hear from you! Please email us if your family is ever coming to Alabama and we would love to meet up and meet your brother from India too(By the way, don't you have two siblings from India? I couldnt remember)

Hannah~ Awesome...you have a blog now...we can follow you at college!!! Sounds like you have had a good start...keep letting us know how you are doing!