Never Say Never

It is Back to School time and Vitali has started Kindergarten and if you had asked me a few years ago, I never thought I would be typing these words....that Inna and Grant are homescooling! If you had asked me about 5-10 yrs ago, I would have been one of the sceptical ones, but in the last few months, I have learned just how much I actually just didnt have a clue before about homeschooling!

About the middle of this past school year, I began to sense that it could possibly be something that was needed for Inna as the regular classroom and public school setting was not a good environment for her needs (There are some internationally adopted children that do well in public school, but this was not a good fit for her). When I began to see this and learn more about Inna's needs, my first reaction was, "Oh NOOOOO, please God tell me your not going to ask me to homeschool", but as we began working with her developmental specialists and other health professionals that see her and looking into other school options EVERYTHING constantly pointed to homeschool. Then, at the very same time, I had Grant who was not being challenged in school. He was in 2nd grade, but testing on a 4th grade level in pretty much every subject. He was completely bored in the regular classroom and when I would talk to his teachers, they would say...we notice that too, but we are doing all that we can to try to keep him challenged (But it still was not enough...he was coming home and try to challenge himself here). He was accepted into the gifted program, but this still is not challenging enough as it is only 1 day a week and he was begging me to let him homeschool. Needless to say, Jason and I have spent many months praying about the best situation for both kids! I always want to do what is best for my kids and although I knew that homeschooling 2 kids that are not on the normal curve of their grade level and 2 different extremes at that would be intense and challenging, but over time, my heart softened to the idea as I could see that it was the best thing for them and I decided to give it a try! It still amazes me how when we say, "Yes" to something God is asking us to do how there is such a strong peace that comes over us even though we know it may be tough...can I get a witness? ha! Now, that I have said, "Yes" I have really felt good about the decision and have enjoyed planning everything out. I cannot tell you how excited Grant is....he is so excited to work at his own pace and knowing that I will make sure he is challenged (got A beka curriculum for him this year) and excited about all the AWESOME field trips of the areas he is interested in that he would not otherwise be able to take and I see a new spark of motivation in him of excitement of the new opportunities. Inna is not big on school yet, but we are really going to be working on some things like life skills, social skills, etc... that should really boost her self esteem and this will give her an honest chance to do well. Also, I had no idea how many people homeschool in our area, but Oh my goodness, there are over 200 families that homeschool in little 'ol town of Prattville alone. We have joined a huge homeschool group (FHE) that offers clubs, extra curriculur activities, homeschool P.E. at the YMCA, and group field trips. Now, we get to have fun deciding which ones to be apart of.
I have explained to Grant, Inna, and Vitali (a little early for Vitali :) that we do not want them to compare themselves to each other academically, because mommy and daddy are going to see what each child's school needs are each year. I told them that there is public school, private school (if we can afford it :), and homeschool and what may be good for one, may not be good for another, so we will place each one in the best learning environment for them individually from year to year.



I do want to add this bit of info because it is hard to find info on this on the web unless you know exactly where to find it. I have researched to no end curriculums and such for kids with special circumstances and I am just SOOOO excited about what I have found for this year. I want to post this to help any adoptive family who may be looking....The UAB IAC gave me info on a program called Smart Start at this link:
http://www.bgcenterschool.org/CourseLibrary/CL2M.shtml
It is a 8 step program designed for internationally adopted children who missed the vital years of brain development and it is designed to help the child's cognition and help place as much as possible the basic building blocks for learning in the brain that were missed in the first years of their life. I have also found some other books that I am excited about for math and reading that approaches the core subjects with basic cognitive developement in mind. The math approach helps with short term/long term memory and the reading book exercises are focused on cognitive development also. I will be glad to share the info I have found with anyone who may be interested in it...just shoot me an email!

Vitali started Kindergarten and is in the regular classroom part of the day and gets special ed services part of the day this year. He loves the idea of going to school and learning, but so far, one of the teachers has to pry him out of the car in the mornings and carries him while he says, "Mama" and wiggles around all the way to his classroom. His regular classroom teacher seems to be concerned with his activity level, but I really think this will get somewhat better once he adjusts to the change. We are all trying to give him a good adjustment time before any changes are made. He has a wonderful Special Ed teacher and she is great with him! I found out at orientation when I met her that she goes to church with us and we didnt even know it...isnt that cool? So, he will get to see her at both places :)

Well, the only other news is that Grant has finally started football again...try outs were today and He is pumped as he has waited for football to start back all year long!

Ok, since it is back to school time...Below is a little fun we have been having from yearbookyourself.com
You can go to website and put your picture in any decade hairstyle and we have had fun laughing at all of them! Here are some we made...

Jason 80's (we think he looks like Greg Brady)/ Mel- 1976
Inna 1958/ Tiff 1982
Vitali 1960's/ Grant 1988

Grant's 8th B-day

First, I want to ask to please let us know if anyone knows someone who can translate Inna's letters from her best friend at orphanage to us from Ukrainian to English and Inna's letters back to her (I type what Inna wants to say in English and then we will need someone to type up in Ukranian). We of course, will pay someone to do this, but would prefer that it be someone that maybe other adoptive families have used and know can be trusted or someone that can be highly recommended :) We do have Ukrainian friends and contacts that live here, but they seem to be all IN Ukraine at this time and we have a friend/translator that we have been using for this that lives in Ukraine, but for someone reason he said he can send out money from Ukraine, but we had a hard time finding a way for it to reach him last time (long story). We hate to keep asking him to do this not knowing if he will ever be able to get paid. We really are not looking for info on just other Ukrainians that live in our area...we have several Ukrainian aquaintances in the states, but do not know them well enough yet to trust them with translating letters from Inna (although probably great people)... we really just need recommendations from other adoptive families that have used someone or from anyone that has someone they would highly recommend to translate at a reasonable price.

On to the birthday-
Grant has turned 8 yrs old and had a fun celebration! He had a swimming party and then 3 of his friends spent the night for a campout. Of course, I called it the "City boys campout" as Jason thought it was too hot to put the tent outside, so papaw "Yo daddy" on the blog) let us borrow a huge tent and they set it up in the sunroom, which had a fan to cool off in this Alabama summer heat. Then later they roasted marshmallows on the gas STOVE! They had a great time playing in the tent and they lasted all of about 30 minutes once lights were out and time for bed. Once they all laid down, Jason said he kept his eyes open just waiting for the first one to be ready to go inside (at least he was praying someone would want to go inside :) And then, it happened....the first boy said, "I'ts really hot", then the second one said, "I'm uncomfortable", and then the third said, "Let's go inside" to which no one had to ask twice...Jason was up and leading the way inside, ha! I had actually already moved some mattresses in the living room with the feeling that at least one of them would be there before the night was over. We hope to have an outside "true campout" when some of this scorching heat calms down :) Then, the next day, we somehow got 7 kids dressed for church and arrived in time to work the nursery (I guess it does help that we live across the street). The 3 boys that spent the night also go to church with us and they thought it was cool to be able to walk this time!

Also this past week...we got to spend 10 days with my brother Caleb before he left for Iraq for 2 years. We werent sure he was going to get to come home first, so we were thankful for such an extended time to spend with him. We sure are going to miss him, but so glad there is technology to keep us in touch! I think we may all try the Skype thing. If you know Caleb, please pray for him during this time or if you are someone who prays for our military, please remember him!

Happy 4th of July!

I love this pic of our little Ukrainian/American boy and the American Flag! It was taken at church at the AWANA awards ceremony.

Speaking of...the kids had awards night for AWANA (the program the kids are in on Wednesday nights at church). They all have LOVED being apart of this during the school year and could not wait until Wednesdays for AWANA night:

Inna actually became a christian as a result of going through her AWANA curriculum and then asking us questions at home! She made it through the first starter part and one section of the book. It may not sound like much, but there are many scriptures and activities in just the starter part and for someone who had never even heard the name Jesus (that we know of) it was a lot for her to meditate on.

Vitali loved "Alana" as he calls it! He was very proud of all the scriptures he repeated after his teachers and proud of having his own book to work through and proud of the badges he earned! He asked every day if today is "ALANA".

Grant also loved this program and was so excited about it that he studied on his own all the time and actually finished the first years book in about half the time and wanted the 2nd years book to start on it early, but they did not have it yet! He has a tremendous gift to remember scripture! He was also so excited at the awards ceremony that he was presented with a special gift for raising the most money out of all the kids for the missions project for children in Brazil. He did not even know that there was going to be a gift for the one that raised the most, so he was pumped! He also had a little help from his Grandmother, Muh, who sent him some money to add to his when she found out he was collecting!
Now, they are in a VBS type program that last all summer long at our church and then AWANA will start back again when school starts.
Here are pics from the ceremony:


Vitali just couldnt get over his award...he was trying so hard to see what everyone else had in their hand until he finally got his!

Grant walking back from getting his award:

Inna before she recieved hers (when it was time for her class, she didnt like being called out and certainly didnt want to walk on the stage, so they had to bring it to her :)

To see how close our church is from our house....this is the kids standing in our front yard and that is our church in the background:

Kids getting ready to walk across the street to church:


Like always...so much has happened since last post...one of those things being Grant's B-day, so I will post those pics when I get em uploaded :)

Hope you have a wonderful 4th! We are going to go see fireworks on the River and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of my brother, Caleb who is just hours away from arriving home from Texas and is coming home from the Army to spend time with us before he leaves for Iraq for 2 years. We will be sad to see him go, but thankful for this time to spend with him this weekend.....and on Independence Day...seems kind of fitting huh?

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Hope in Desperate Conditions

http://www.worldnextdoor.org/2009/04/romaniv-boys-orphanage/comment-page-1/

sorry...you'll have to copy and paste (I dont know how to get it where you can just click on it)

The link above is from a missionary group that is ministering to an orphanage in the same region that Inna and Vitali are from. Jason found the site and we are so moved as it brought back so many thoughts and memories! As you know if you have been reading our blog, Vitali was in a special needs orphanage in this region, except that it was a baby orphanage. Jason and I have often wondered once these special needs children, like Vitali are too old for the baby orphanage where do they go? We did not know of or see an older kids (ages 6-16) orphanage for disabled children while we were in there area and out of 300 kids at Inna's orphanage, we did not see any as disabled as what was at Vitali's orphanage. So, we have often wondered where Vitali and his friends would have gone? When we saw the website above, we couldnt help but wonder if this boy's special needs orphanage would have been where Vitali would have gone since it is in the same region. Thank God, we never know what could have happened and that Vitali does have a family now, but as I read this I couldnt help but think of all the kids in Vitali's group that we played with while there who will be transferring to places like this, if not this exact place and I thank God for the missionaries that go into such conditions and are offering these children hope! The conditions they explain are very similar in some ways to Vitali's orphanage. The smells in both Inna's and Vitali's orphanages were so repulsive that we had to begin wearing deodorant on the bottom of our nose to try to endure being there. We too experienced the constant screaming, crying of kids with no one to hold them. I specifically remember looking through a door and seeing disabled children from Vitali's group walking very slowly with head leaning on the wall with such an obvious fever(bright red cheeks) that they could barely keep their eyes open and yet there is no one to help them! The weirdest thing to us was that the whole time we were visiting Vitali's orphanage, we thought his group of about 14 children were the only ones who lived there, but one of the last days that Jason was there, the director of the orphanage for some reason took Jason into a back room of a seperate building and there was a small room where the most severely handicapped babies 0-5 lived....he witnessed children with no arms or legs propped up on a couch and many other type disabilities.....it sounded just like the setting at the orphanage above. Inna's orphanage did not have children with such disabilities that we saw, but we witnessed some very hard things there too (the same teenagers crying alone in the hallways every single day we were there, kids freely roaming the premises outside, smoking, etc..., the children were only allowed to have a "shower" on Thursdays and 300 kids had to be herded through 3 shower stalls, and forget about ever have their teeth brushed and such. Inna tells us a lot about her orphanage (most of what I could not put on here), but some of the more minor things like she was on the 3rd floor of this HUGE building and at night, they turn off all the lights and there is no adult anywhere nearby. She explained how you couldnt even make it to the bathroom stalls at night because they were on the first floor and it was too scary. In fact, I just spoke to someone the other day who took a missions trip and stayed in a Ukraine orphanage the whole day and evening to see what all goes on and while he was there he even witnessed that now the pimps hang outside of the orphanages waiting to approach the new girls that will be released from the orphanage on that day (meaning they became 17 and "graduated" from the system and are put out with no skills to function well in life.) I know all of this is blunt, but it is truth and it is happening. As Americans, I think it is very hard for us to really understand what these places are like, unless you have been there. Even for Jason and I, I do not believe that there is anyway that we could have remotely "Got it" just having it explained to us if we had never been in a place like this. Basically, once you have been there, those images stay with you (how could they not), but while you are there, you can only rest in the knowledge of that these children are not forgotten by God and He knows each one by name! We don't understand God's ways sometimes, but we know that He explains in the Bible that He cares deeply for the orphans and I truly believe that He does! Because He loves them, he calls missionaries like in the link above to go to them and show them love...it is so encouraging for us to read about missionary groups like the ones above who are sharing God's love with these children and giving them hope and bringing joy into their lives and especially the one above as it very well could have been the place Vitali would have lived if not adopted. May God bless this missionary group and double their efforts!

More Ukraine Adoption Info

We are off to a great summer! We actually had a great 1st week already! We are so past ready to swim in our pool too, but waiting on a new liner next week as our other one bit the dust over the winter.

This week Inna and Vitali had their one yr check up with UAB adoption clinic and my mind is trying to process all the info at this point :) There are always so helpful! I truly cannot express to you all the changes that Inna and Vitali have made in one year! It is just mind-blowing at times. Of course we got all their stats on ht, wt, head circ. and it is no secret that Inna has grown significantly in every way :) She has gone from a size 2 shoe to a size 7 in this one year. Vitali has definitely changed from very baby-like to a little boy in one short year. He just continues to make huge changes, especially cognitively. It is really hard for me to express exactly some of his changes, but even in the last month, I have noticed a real difference in the way he is able to connect to conversation and being more aware of his surroundings. He has begun to show empathy for the first time recently and has started to care a little when he is hurt or someone else is hurt. There was no ability to feel these things before. My jaw just dropped last week when we were on a bike ride and Inna fell off her bike and he looked up at me sadly and out of the blue said (with lots of stuttering in between), "Mommy, I care when Inna gets hurt." Before, he would have been so in his own world that he would have been oblivious that she had even fallen off the bike. He has even been responding to some discipline with genuine crying or genuinely seeming to have some remorse when before he was too hyperactive and impulsive to know or care he was being disciplined. There is still a long way to go, but I am so thankful for these improvements as we did not know for sure if there would ever be the ability for these things. There are so many things that they have come through in a year and I began to type a list and ended up erasing it with the realization that the list is so enormous that I had a hard time choosing what to add to the list :) There is also a long list of things we are still working on :)

We wanted to give more info on Ukraine and adoption and we have really found a particular family's blog to have info that would be helpful if you are in the adoption process. The blog link is....
http://pretreadoptionblog.blogspot.com/
This family seems to be keeping tabs on many things happening in Ukraine, especially the latest news concerning the voting of whether to stop international adoptions from Ukraine. Many families have been praying this week over this and thank God it fell through on Tues for now....you can read more about it on blog link above. If you go back to further posts there is quest/answers for those about to travel. Also, if you go back to their April 8th post, they post the total amount that was spent in their Ukraine adoption of 2 children recently. We have found that their amount matches our total amount almost exactly and probably could help you plan better if you are planning on adopting 2 from Ukraine at this time.
Also, if you are in the adoption process, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND going to their April
1st post for some very important information from the director of the SDA.

No matter what information you find, I would just encourage you not to be discouraged. The financial alone can almost take your breath away, but God is always faithful to provide and if He has called you, He will see you to the end! If you have any specific questions, please feel free to comment or email us.

Just for fun:
Things that we are glad we packed in our suitcase for Ukraine:

- (Especially if you are taking kids) Snacks, lemonade packets (or any juice powder packet to go), coffee...we packed as many snacks as would fit in out suitcases and they lasted maybe the first week. This was especially important when traveling with Grant because you a lot of times are just getting used to everything that 1st week and are at the mercy of others and you may not get to stop and eat or get snacks anywhere...one of our days...we were on the road all day from 5 in the morning and never got to stop anywhere...Jason and I literally didnt get to eat or drink until 8:00 that night because we held all of our snacks for Grant so that at least he could be sure to get something to eat...THANK GOD we packed those snacks and then we had the same situation the next day...we were sad when we ran out of our familiar snacks from home- Mel

- DVD movies to play on computer (All TV was in Ukrainian)- Jason

Things we wish we had NOT packed to take to Ukraine:

- Long Johns- It was cold OUTSIDE, but the heat is government controlled INSIDE Kiev and if you wear long johns outside and you are hot natured at all, you are going to burn up inside the buildings. Put it this way...It was snowing hard outside when we were staying in Kiev and we were sleeping with our windows and balcony doors wide open in our flat because we were sweating so bad inside with no way to control the heat. We were so thankful when April 15th arrived and the government turned off the heat- Mel.

- Power converter because all we needed was the standard adapter for a 110 plug to European 240 volt plug (Check your electronics to see if they can accept 240 volts, because most of ours did)- Jason

Gotcha Day Celebration

We had a such a wonderful Gotcha Day! God did such a cool thing...
I was trying to decide the best way to honor this day...it didnt seem that a party type celebration or gifts and such seemed like the right thing for our crew (especially since those type occasions where all attention is on them can send them into some setbacks for a few days) and as I was brainstorming...we were contacted by the pastor of Grace Fellowship in Anniston AL (A church that supported our adoption while in Ukraine...more on that later)who explained that they were having an adoption service on May 17th. He explained that the adoption agency we used, Lifeline, would be speaking on adoption and that they would be playing an adoption slideshow and would like pics of our family and then if we were able to attend, he asked that one of us speak a little on what God has taught us in our adoption. We were very excited about getting to meet this church in person, but got off the phone and it never occured to Jason or I until the next day that May 17th was exactly the day that Inna and Vitali arrived in America to join our family forever. This Sunday Service was not planned for our Gotcha Day, but that is just how our awesome God works!

Before I go any further, I want to explain a little more about how this church that had never met us before came to support our adoption....
From what I have been told and the best I can remember the story...
It all started when a family at Grace Fellowship gave birth to a child named Micah who was born with a disease that caused many hi medical bills. Financial support was raised for Micah during this time and he went to be with Jesus before he turned one years old. This is a precious family that we had the joy of meeting this past Sunday and my heart was moved when I found out their full story. Micah's parents and the elders of the church decided that they would take the money that was raised and use it to help adoptive families....the fund was named Micah's Hope.
Shortly after, there was an adoptive family in Ukraine who realized their process was going to be longer than expected and they were running out of money quickly and if God did not intervene they possibly would have to leave without the children they believed God had for them. This family of course was ours and we came to a hard time while were in Ukraine of realizing that we would have to release to God any efforts to make this adoption financially happen as we did not see a solution in site. It was a true test of faith! We added up that we would need $7,600 to pay for all that was needed in the country and we had no idea where it was going to come from. We released it completely to God in prayer and like I said, washed our hands of any efforts to make it happen at this point. The next day, we got a call from our social worker who back in America had made a phone call to Grace Fellowship and explained our need and they said, "Well, it is funny you have called because we actually have made an adoption fund and can donate the the full $7,600 that is needed. Obviously, this was a huge faith builder and encouragement to us while in Ukraine and we are very grateful!

Back to Gotcha Day...one of the families in the church offered for us to come stay with them Sat night and we had a great time getting to meet them and the kids loved their beautiful backyard with decorative fish pond. Grant liked it so much that we couldnt find him at 5:00 Sunday morning and he was out watching the fish. We had a great service Sunday and Jason nominated me to speak for our family and the sermon from Pastor Carlton was awesome. Afterwards, the church planned a meal for us adoptive families there and we got to meet so many wonderful people!
Then, when we were passing back through B-ham, we got to spend some time The Hood family (remember the friends that we met while in Ukraine) and all of our kids hit it off right away! They were all excited to meet their new friends that also had Russian names! Overall, I just felt EXTREMELY blessed and in the car on the way home as the kids were resting, I was just thanking God for how he had placed so many awesome, Godly, encouraging people in our paths and how we felt so loved on for Gotcha Day! Then Jason and I agreed that we had the answer for celebrating Gotcha Day in our family would be a day to celebrate adoption in general...to visit those that supported our adoption, to support someone who has adopted or in the process, to find ways to remember the orphans that do not yet have a family on this day...maybe writing a letter, maybe a missions trip...the possiblities are endless, but I pray that every year will be as meaningful for our family as this one!

Well, now that we have reached one year, I will be ending regular posts on our blog soon, but there are a few posts that I want to get in before I do.

Comments:
Kathy C~ Yes, we were in Destin- one of our favorites to visit :) I checked out your blog on the twins...hope you are able to get them soon...they need a momma and daddy :)!

Stephanee~ Oh my goodness...wouldnt my kids be beside themselves if they thought we were going to see Katya & Nastya at the beach :) I would be there in a heartbeat! I am sure your girls are going to be blown away with the beach like Inna and Vitali.

Denise~ Thanks for leaving the comment...Yes, Amy and I have emailed off and on and I am following along...I have no doubt they are going to see amazing changes! Please feel free to email me again anytime!

Rachel~ we are waiting anxiously for the wedding bells to ring :)

Alan~ Thanks for continuing to follow along...I wish I had time to posts their reaction to every first :)

Tammy~ You are exactly right...it is not for the weak at heart or anyone living without the strength of Christ...I have to tap into it daily :)!

Deb~ Thank you for your sweet comments...hope your family is doing well and still excelling in Karate!

Beach Trip

Over Spring Break, I decided to take the kids to the Beach for what was going to be a day trip until my sweet grandmother (Meme) decided that she wanted to pay for us to stay overnight and we had a great time! This was the first time that Inna and Vitali had ever seen the beach and they LOVED it! I drove the 3 kids, Tiff, and we asked my mom (Gigi) to hop in with us last minute and she joined the party! Jason decided that the best way he could enjoy this time was to have the house all to himself since it doesnt happen much :) and so he opted to enjoy the quiet at home and join us on our next beach trip. On the way there, the kids just kept getting more excited the closer we got to being there. Inna kept saying..."I feel like I have been to the beach before because I have imagined it in my mind". Then, we past over the bridge over the bay and it almost took her breath away...she thought it was so beautiful. Vitali kept saying, "I have never been to the beach". (By the way, this is his new thing to say I have never..."I have never had a b-day party" "I have never...the list goes on and on to the point of even stuff like driving down the road and he will say "Mama, mama, mama, mama...I have never ridden in that car (meaning the car beside us on the road)...see what I mean, this list could go on forever. Ok, back to the beach...Inna was so excited when we finally arrived at Destin that she ran through the sand and plunged straight in the water even though it was FREEZING cold! She laughed and splashed and splashed like Vitali did when he first had a bath. She swam for hours and never seemed to realize that it was freezing water. She was having so much fun that the other kids all decided to join her...even Tiff. I asked Grant later if he thinks he would have ever got in the water if Inna didnt that day and he said, "No"...that he would have thought it was too cold, but instead he had a blast that day! The best part was that I just realized how therapeutic being there at the beach was for Inna and Vitali and really all of us, but I really could tell how enjoying one of God's most beautiful creations was such a healing experience for Inna. Later that night, we went out to eat and had more fun as there was a band playing some Jimmy Buffet type songs and the dance floor was completely empty and they had hoola hoops spread out, so we all danced and hoola hooped for probably an hour or more and had so much fun! Tiff, Grant, and Inna had some awesome hoola hoop tricks going on. The guys on the stage when they paused between songs even said, "Man, that is so cool" and started requesting tricks, haha! We wanted to take pics of this, but our camera wouldnt work with the lighting. We did get some beach pics though...