Where does time go?

Wow..it feels like we just posted a couple weeks ago and it has already been a month!
We have had a busy 2 weeks...it seems the doctors visits hit all at once again and then just when we were done with the scheduled visits we had a round of Strep throat for each kid starting with Inna, Vitali, and then Grant. It is so funny their different personalities...Inna is always saying something different is hurting at all the time :), so when she is REALLY sick, she REALLY enjoys a lot of snuggles :), Vitali has learned from being in the orphanage not to pay attention to pain (It is getting a little better though) and has a VERY VERY VERY high pain tolerance, so we have no idea he is sick or hurt himself until we see blood or some other sign. So, we had no idea he had Strep until he broke out in a rash with hives all over his body and the doc said it was Strep. He never slowed down one bit the whole time he was sick. Grant on the other hand, gets sick, gets a fever, but fights the thought of being sick until usually after going to the doctor and then he decides he wants mommy or daddy to lay down with him until he recovers :) If you have never seen a strep rash, neither had I...this pic is Vitali with his rash, except it was from head to toe...I took this pic for the doc just in case it went away before our appt time, but he actually had the welps for 3 days

Believe it or not, it is almost time for our 6 mos post adoption assessment in our home. Our agency's social worker will be coming back out to do the 6 mos. reports. We LOVE her...she is so sweet and keeps in touch with us in between meetings.

The kids are really beginning to have some great play time together at home. They are definitely the typical bro/sis with loving to play together at times and then the sibling rivalry at times. Vitali in this past month has began to join in playing with them...all 3 love to build tents complete with their own sections for rooms and then they decorate them. Grant & Vitali love to play football together, that is usually at least once each day and Grant loves to be the tough coach with all the coach lingo! Inna and Grant are GREAT about taking turns playing what each other likes...they even have voluntarily helped each other clean each others rooms and then will tell me they have a "surprise" for me :)
Inna has had some great times at school and also some real challenges at school. She is picking up her work rather quickly considering that she had not been taught much in many subjects in Ukraine. For example, she was just learning to add in Math there where as you know in 4th grade, we are doing division and such here. She is working to catch up and I know it has to be hard for her, but she has a special teacher at her school for International students that understands the situation and has been a God send for Inna and us...they are helping her at her level to try to get through this year of adjustments and we will take it a year at a time. She has also started carrying over some of the behavior from her orphanage into school here in a America, like fighting...YIKES!! At her school at the orphanage it would be nothing to hit, push, get in fights, etc...with each other (It's survival) and Inna has learned to be quite a tough girl over the years, but I can also say that we are seeing breakthroughs all the time and a softer side come out and I know that God has divinely placed each teacher that she has this year, because they tell me all the time how much they love her and want to see her come through this and do well and I can tell they really do!!! I surprised her and showed up for lunch last week and she was so excited she started crying and when we went in the lunchroom all the way through people were saying, "Hey Inna" so she seems to have made many friends and of course she gives every teacher a hug all the way down the halls :)

Grant is absolutely loving football!! He told me that he felt sorry for his son one day because he is going to always talk about football and make him run plays. This whole football season he has been covered in bruises on arms and legs, but hasnt complained...it just looks bad! He has been pumped this week because the YMCA is trying to promote playing sports and having good academics at the same time, so they are working with the schools of the kids who play a sport at the Y and made the honor roll at the same time to reward them, so he is getting his pic on the honor board at the Y and getting a free meal at his ABSOLUTE favorite restaurant, Long Horn. His favorite meal is Salmon from there, so they didnt know it, but that was probably the best reward they could have given him :)

Vitali is still loving his school!! I can't say enough about his teachers...they go above and beyond!! We are very blessed that special ed will be going out to his school to give him therapy while he is there. He will begin with with speech therapy and cognitive therapy for now. I am just so excited for him to get started although...WOW...I can not say enough about how much he has changed since being here. We actually finished all of his dental work today...it has been 4 visits of dental work and we are done until cleanings now....YEA!!!! They told me at the dentist today that the change in him of when he first started coming to them until today is unbelievable...they said, we only see him every once in a while, but we can see a real difference. Of course, friends and family tell us a lot they see it, but it was just encouraging to hear that from them today. He is getting so strong and loves to do hand stands and flips...matter of fact this is an all day thing!! Last week, one of the biggest changes I noticed was in his drawing. At the orphanage and since we have been home, his way of drawing was to kind of stare at the paper, fist the pencil or crayon and draw a line from top to bottom of page over and over...Last week, he shocked me...he came up to me and drew his first object where he drew a circle and told me it was a circle...I was so excited for him and he was too!!! He learned this at school. Oh, and he is officially potty trained now...WOOHOO!!!!

Quick update for those of you who know Caleb: He is doing great and actually loves basic training. He said he has good drill sergents that seem to have really good morals. He most dislikes waking up at 4am and says he is homesick, but enjoying at the same time. I can't remember if he said he has 40 or 60 people in his platoon, but he is the platoon leader for his platoon. Please keep him in your prayers!

I am going to try to post a short video of each kid and hopefully will start on next post.

Adoption "Stuff" we have learned along the way #2:
This one will be a list called, "Don't Assume" just in case it might help someone. If you are another adoptive parent, we would love to hear your "Don't assumes" you have found helpful along the way that you can share....

In Ukraine, Don't assume that the older child you are adopting knows that they are being adopted in a FOREVER family. We explained every detail through translator about adoption and what that would mean for her. The kids at these orphanages see many kids coming and going for hosting programs...they will leave for a few weeks to a month and then come back, so you have to explain, so that they will not think they are going on a hosting trip, but going to be in a family forever!!! We talked to Inna about this the first day we met and asked her if this is what she wanted (I think it is good to ask even though you know they are going to say yes, so they feel a part of the decision). I still remember our conversation and how she lit up like a light and said, "YES, YES, YES"!

Also, In Ukraine, Don't Assume that they understand the events of the next days when they leave the orphanage...I think it is a good idea to explain in detail through translator...We wrote a letter for our translator to read to Inna with every detail of where she would go once we left the translator because of the different languages...including what will happen on the plane and how they would stop and get off the plane and then back on, etc...because if they wonder what is happening at any time, you may not be able to explain. We also wrote for him to read to tell her that she can trust us and explained many things about our family etc... (this is important for them to hear from a caregiver they have known or like in our case, Inna seemed to trust our facilitator as much as any caregiver so he read the letter). Here is the reason I say this...We were told by one of our facilitators while in Ukraine about an orphan that was adopted there and the visits went great with the new parents, but when they left the orphanage and went to board the plane, the child totally freaked out and started screaming and refusing to get on the plane. The parents wisely decided to not go that day and see if they could calm the child down. They went back to the orphanage to see if one of the caregivers could make sense of it and the child admitted that the other kids in the orphanage had teased the child that this family was only being nice during the visits to get them back to America to do away with them (but with details that I wont share). So, the family had that caregiver that the child knew talked to the child of how they could trust this family and that it was all a lie. From that our facilitator suggest having a letter ready for the caregiver to read.

Last one....Don't assume that they have been taught stuff already, chances are whether they are 6 or 16, no one has taken the time yet to teach them. I mean like, thinking of teaching things like you would a toddler...basic hygeine:showering, brushing teeth, toileting, etc...I remember when we were in Ukraine having a dinner conversation with other adoptive families and we getting closer to getting our kids out of the orphanage and we were all like, what should we do with an older kid at shower time....we don't want to embarass them. Well, since we have been home, I have not talked to a parent yet that hasnt had the same experience (and even some adoptions from America) It doesnt matter if they are 16, they will probably need you to explain these things in detail from beginning to end and from my experience and all the others I have talked to if they are like ours, they will not be embarassed at all, but in fact will be so thankful that you took the time to show them and they want to know. One thing that was very helpful to us was a book a friend gave me called American girl, "The Care and Keeping of You" and especially when the language is not there yet. It has lots of pictures and explains many basic things that they need to know.

Anybody, got any to add?

A few more pics:
1. This is how they like to watch t.v. sometimes.