Do you know Him?

I felt that I could not end the regular posting on our adoption blog in the coming posts ahead without sharing first in this post the most important thing of all! Many friends who have previously adopted had told me before we left for Ukraine that the opportunity to adopt is an opportunity to know the heart of our heavenly Father. In the midst of all the challenges, it does not outway the benefits of growing closer to Jesus and understanding him better! We were able to see his hand move in 7 specific ways while in Ukraine (ways where we had specific prayers that seemed a miracle would have to take place for them to be done and all 7 times, he did the impossible in the situation). We also have had the opportunity to learn about unconditional love. We have had people ask us so many questions since adopting and one of the big ones they like to ask is, "Do you feel love at first sight when you first meet the children?" The more I was asked this question, the more I realized that I believe the real question they mean to ask is "Do you feel a bond with this child when you first meet them?" As for the bonding....of course it was not at first sight (I am sure if you asked the kids they would say the same thing)...a true bond takes time, takes building trust, takes getting to know the person, etc... On the other hand, love at the first sight...YES.... UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS A CHOICE...just like in a marriage or any other situation...the choice was made before we even met them that we would purpose to love them unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT and the only way to be able to love others unconditionally is to tap into the unconditional love that our Heavenly Father gives us. So, the bonding has been a process that is happening along the journey, but the love has been there from the beginning!
I have also learned even more about how we are human and are limited in how much we can help someone else. In adopting older children with severe neglect, abuse, and trauma in their past, you learn that there is only so much that being a loving parent can do to bring them out of their past and the strongholds that comes with it. As humans we ARE limited and there will be a need for healing in areas that human ability cannot do. I am so thankful we have been able to lead our children to know the One who can help them at these times....Jesus! We have personally seen with our own eyes over and over, Inna crying out to God for help in specific areas and him bring healing in that area. We have even had a councelor tell us that she has come out of a couple of specific behaviors that in her past situation would have been expected to be struggling with into the adult years (which we already knew that it was God who had brought healing in that area).

I do not know all of the ones who check our blog and I didnt want to take the chance of not sharing this with you in case you do not know Jesus as your Savior. It is such a unbelievable Blessing to be able to live for Jesus and after all we have seen in the past year, there is no way on Earth, I would want anyone to have to live without the peace and blessing of knowing Him! If you do not, I just plead with you to ask him to reveal himself to you or if you want more information about how to become a Christian, you can look up this link for more info http://www.billygraham.org/SH_HowtobecomeaChristian.asp
or feel free to email us (email address is on the side of the blog)

Please listen to this below if you get a chance...I have been meaning to put it on the blog for a while (mainly because he mentions Inna and Vitali in his message and I wanted it to be on our blog for our family to always have), but I promise you will be touched if you listen to it...It is the message from the day we were at Grace Fellowship and Pastor Carlton Weathers gave this message on adoption. If you do not have the chance to listen to the whole thing, I would encourage you to forward ahead to the 40 minute mark and at least listen to his story of adopting his daughter from China. We so related to everything he said!! Don't forget to turn off the volume of song at the bottom of page.

Here is the link:
http://gracefellowshipcc.org/sermonaudio/?p=578

P.S. Since some let me know at a retreat Sat that they have been looking for an update on the blog about homeschooling and how it is going...Well, I went into it with no expectations, except that we would give it a try and all I can truly say that it is going awesome, better than I ever expected! We wake up at 7:00, take Vitali to school, eat breakfast, and get started and the kids are so motivated and are working so hard in all subjects and seem to be loving it! It is exactly what we needed for this year to meet the needs of each child and I couldnt be more thrilled!

From comments: Stephanie Merkel- Believe me (I am not just saying this), just meeting you would make anyone want to homeschool...you are an amazing teenager!! Hope the India adoption process for the newest child is moving along smoothly! If you get a chance, shoot me an email and let me know how it is going...havent been updated on that in a while :)

Never Say Never

It is Back to School time and Vitali has started Kindergarten and if you had asked me a few years ago, I never thought I would be typing these words....that Inna and Grant are homescooling! If you had asked me about 5-10 yrs ago, I would have been one of the sceptical ones, but in the last few months, I have learned just how much I actually just didnt have a clue before about homeschooling!

About the middle of this past school year, I began to sense that it could possibly be something that was needed for Inna as the regular classroom and public school setting was not a good environment for her needs (There are some internationally adopted children that do well in public school, but this was not a good fit for her). When I began to see this and learn more about Inna's needs, my first reaction was, "Oh NOOOOO, please God tell me your not going to ask me to homeschool", but as we began working with her developmental specialists and other health professionals that see her and looking into other school options EVERYTHING constantly pointed to homeschool. Then, at the very same time, I had Grant who was not being challenged in school. He was in 2nd grade, but testing on a 4th grade level in pretty much every subject. He was completely bored in the regular classroom and when I would talk to his teachers, they would say...we notice that too, but we are doing all that we can to try to keep him challenged (But it still was not enough...he was coming home and try to challenge himself here). He was accepted into the gifted program, but this still is not challenging enough as it is only 1 day a week and he was begging me to let him homeschool. Needless to say, Jason and I have spent many months praying about the best situation for both kids! I always want to do what is best for my kids and although I knew that homeschooling 2 kids that are not on the normal curve of their grade level and 2 different extremes at that would be intense and challenging, but over time, my heart softened to the idea as I could see that it was the best thing for them and I decided to give it a try! It still amazes me how when we say, "Yes" to something God is asking us to do how there is such a strong peace that comes over us even though we know it may be tough...can I get a witness? ha! Now, that I have said, "Yes" I have really felt good about the decision and have enjoyed planning everything out. I cannot tell you how excited Grant is....he is so excited to work at his own pace and knowing that I will make sure he is challenged (got A beka curriculum for him this year) and excited about all the AWESOME field trips of the areas he is interested in that he would not otherwise be able to take and I see a new spark of motivation in him of excitement of the new opportunities. Inna is not big on school yet, but we are really going to be working on some things like life skills, social skills, etc... that should really boost her self esteem and this will give her an honest chance to do well. Also, I had no idea how many people homeschool in our area, but Oh my goodness, there are over 200 families that homeschool in little 'ol town of Prattville alone. We have joined a huge homeschool group (FHE) that offers clubs, extra curriculur activities, homeschool P.E. at the YMCA, and group field trips. Now, we get to have fun deciding which ones to be apart of.
I have explained to Grant, Inna, and Vitali (a little early for Vitali :) that we do not want them to compare themselves to each other academically, because mommy and daddy are going to see what each child's school needs are each year. I told them that there is public school, private school (if we can afford it :), and homeschool and what may be good for one, may not be good for another, so we will place each one in the best learning environment for them individually from year to year.



I do want to add this bit of info because it is hard to find info on this on the web unless you know exactly where to find it. I have researched to no end curriculums and such for kids with special circumstances and I am just SOOOO excited about what I have found for this year. I want to post this to help any adoptive family who may be looking....The UAB IAC gave me info on a program called Smart Start at this link:
http://www.bgcenterschool.org/CourseLibrary/CL2M.shtml
It is a 8 step program designed for internationally adopted children who missed the vital years of brain development and it is designed to help the child's cognition and help place as much as possible the basic building blocks for learning in the brain that were missed in the first years of their life. I have also found some other books that I am excited about for math and reading that approaches the core subjects with basic cognitive developement in mind. The math approach helps with short term/long term memory and the reading book exercises are focused on cognitive development also. I will be glad to share the info I have found with anyone who may be interested in it...just shoot me an email!

Vitali started Kindergarten and is in the regular classroom part of the day and gets special ed services part of the day this year. He loves the idea of going to school and learning, but so far, one of the teachers has to pry him out of the car in the mornings and carries him while he says, "Mama" and wiggles around all the way to his classroom. His regular classroom teacher seems to be concerned with his activity level, but I really think this will get somewhat better once he adjusts to the change. We are all trying to give him a good adjustment time before any changes are made. He has a wonderful Special Ed teacher and she is great with him! I found out at orientation when I met her that she goes to church with us and we didnt even know it...isnt that cool? So, he will get to see her at both places :)

Well, the only other news is that Grant has finally started football again...try outs were today and He is pumped as he has waited for football to start back all year long!

Ok, since it is back to school time...Below is a little fun we have been having from yearbookyourself.com
You can go to website and put your picture in any decade hairstyle and we have had fun laughing at all of them! Here are some we made...

Jason 80's (we think he looks like Greg Brady)/ Mel- 1976
Inna 1958/ Tiff 1982
Vitali 1960's/ Grant 1988