Our typical school week with lots of pics

We have been full force in school. I will start with Vitali...

Um...well...he can't quite say he likes Kindergarten yet. Matter of fact, he normally still tells me that he doesnt like his school when I turn the corner and it is in view. I am not sure if he still really feels that way or if it has become part of his morning routine to say that :) He seems to be enjoying himself when I pick him up though. His teachers have been so patient and great! There have been many challenges at school with him being in Kindergarten this year, but his special ed teacher felt that it would be best if he stay in Kindergarten and learn the routines for this year(which he is doing well...even started walking himself to class this week without special ed teacher) and he hopefully will be more comfortable by next year instead of starting over again. We are all taking it day by day.
Oh, and remember little Vitali that couldnt walk without falling every 2nd step a little over a year ago? Well, as of last week...he is riding his bike WITHOUT training wheels. We are trying to teach him how to stop, but his favorite way is after he has gotten some speed to turn the handle bars and slide the bike like he is sliding into home plate (Those of you who know Vitali...I am sure you can imagine this to be true) He even did a carwheel off the bike while it was moving to get off of it one time. SOOOOO, I am thinking not only do we need to use a helmet with our little stunt man, but also wrap him in bubble wrap before he rides a bike, ha!

Homeschool is going great. Grant and Inna seem to really love it and are so motivated and I am enjoying it also! God has really blessed our homeschool time this year more than I ever imagined! Not that there hasnt been any challenges, but even then, I have not regretted doing homeschool for one second. It seems to be exactly what Inna needed with the one on one teaching...I can already see a difference in her self esteem having school work that is on her level and Grant is thriving in being able to move along at his level. We start our work after breakfast at 8:30 and normally get done around 1:00, sometimes a little later...
So, here is some activities from our typical week...

Monday- homeschool-daytime / Grant football practice- evening

Grant & Inna at homeschool:

Ok, just kidding...this is our real classroom:

Football practice- Daddy is the offensive line coach


Tuesday- homeschool- daytime/ Grant football practive- evening


Inna picks me a bunch of wild flowers and makes an arrangement at almost every football practice :)
Wednesday homeschool- day/ 1:00 Grant electric guitar lesson with Jordan/ 3:30 Inna art class/ 6:15 Church

Grant takes guitar lessons from my nephew (Grant's cousin) the very talented...Jordan(we all meet up at Papaw's church)

While Jordan and Grant have lessons, Inna and Patsy(another cousin)meet up in another room and get to spend time together(usually drawing):
Then off to pick up Vitali and then Inna's art class that she gets to take with one of her sweet friends, Alea Bostic:


While Inna and Alea are at art, we usually hang out with the rest of the Bostic family at our house or the park:
Emme, Olivea, & Grant:
Vitali & Trey:
the momma's: me and Andrea


Thursday- homeschool- day/ 1:00 P.E. with friends riding bikes/scooters at YMCA track/ Grant football practice evening

Football practice- bear crawl:

Friday- We have made Friday field trip day and this has been lots of fun. So far, we have been to The State Capitol, Archives and History Building, Old Alabama Town, etc... Inna especially loved Old Alabama Town because her most favorite show is Little House on The Prarie and it reminded her of that. In the capital, I have a friend that works for the govenor who surprised us by letting us go inside the Govenor's office...she even took a pic of us sitting behind his desk on my cell phone...Grant thought this was cool!

And in the meantime, we have also had...
a lemonade stand
Many nights of Inna playing beauty shop on momma's hair:
Grant's 4 teeth pulled:

Do you know Him?

I felt that I could not end the regular posting on our adoption blog in the coming posts ahead without sharing first in this post the most important thing of all! Many friends who have previously adopted had told me before we left for Ukraine that the opportunity to adopt is an opportunity to know the heart of our heavenly Father. In the midst of all the challenges, it does not outway the benefits of growing closer to Jesus and understanding him better! We were able to see his hand move in 7 specific ways while in Ukraine (ways where we had specific prayers that seemed a miracle would have to take place for them to be done and all 7 times, he did the impossible in the situation). We also have had the opportunity to learn about unconditional love. We have had people ask us so many questions since adopting and one of the big ones they like to ask is, "Do you feel love at first sight when you first meet the children?" The more I was asked this question, the more I realized that I believe the real question they mean to ask is "Do you feel a bond with this child when you first meet them?" As for the bonding....of course it was not at first sight (I am sure if you asked the kids they would say the same thing)...a true bond takes time, takes building trust, takes getting to know the person, etc... On the other hand, love at the first sight...YES.... UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS A CHOICE...just like in a marriage or any other situation...the choice was made before we even met them that we would purpose to love them unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT and the only way to be able to love others unconditionally is to tap into the unconditional love that our Heavenly Father gives us. So, the bonding has been a process that is happening along the journey, but the love has been there from the beginning!
I have also learned even more about how we are human and are limited in how much we can help someone else. In adopting older children with severe neglect, abuse, and trauma in their past, you learn that there is only so much that being a loving parent can do to bring them out of their past and the strongholds that comes with it. As humans we ARE limited and there will be a need for healing in areas that human ability cannot do. I am so thankful we have been able to lead our children to know the One who can help them at these times....Jesus! We have personally seen with our own eyes over and over, Inna crying out to God for help in specific areas and him bring healing in that area. We have even had a councelor tell us that she has come out of a couple of specific behaviors that in her past situation would have been expected to be struggling with into the adult years (which we already knew that it was God who had brought healing in that area).

I do not know all of the ones who check our blog and I didnt want to take the chance of not sharing this with you in case you do not know Jesus as your Savior. It is such a unbelievable Blessing to be able to live for Jesus and after all we have seen in the past year, there is no way on Earth, I would want anyone to have to live without the peace and blessing of knowing Him! If you do not, I just plead with you to ask him to reveal himself to you or if you want more information about how to become a Christian, you can look up this link for more info http://www.billygraham.org/SH_HowtobecomeaChristian.asp
or feel free to email us (email address is on the side of the blog)

Please listen to this below if you get a chance...I have been meaning to put it on the blog for a while (mainly because he mentions Inna and Vitali in his message and I wanted it to be on our blog for our family to always have), but I promise you will be touched if you listen to it...It is the message from the day we were at Grace Fellowship and Pastor Carlton Weathers gave this message on adoption. If you do not have the chance to listen to the whole thing, I would encourage you to forward ahead to the 40 minute mark and at least listen to his story of adopting his daughter from China. We so related to everything he said!! Don't forget to turn off the volume of song at the bottom of page.

Here is the link:
http://gracefellowshipcc.org/sermonaudio/?p=578

P.S. Since some let me know at a retreat Sat that they have been looking for an update on the blog about homeschooling and how it is going...Well, I went into it with no expectations, except that we would give it a try and all I can truly say that it is going awesome, better than I ever expected! We wake up at 7:00, take Vitali to school, eat breakfast, and get started and the kids are so motivated and are working so hard in all subjects and seem to be loving it! It is exactly what we needed for this year to meet the needs of each child and I couldnt be more thrilled!

From comments: Stephanie Merkel- Believe me (I am not just saying this), just meeting you would make anyone want to homeschool...you are an amazing teenager!! Hope the India adoption process for the newest child is moving along smoothly! If you get a chance, shoot me an email and let me know how it is going...havent been updated on that in a while :)

Never Say Never

It is Back to School time and Vitali has started Kindergarten and if you had asked me a few years ago, I never thought I would be typing these words....that Inna and Grant are homescooling! If you had asked me about 5-10 yrs ago, I would have been one of the sceptical ones, but in the last few months, I have learned just how much I actually just didnt have a clue before about homeschooling!

About the middle of this past school year, I began to sense that it could possibly be something that was needed for Inna as the regular classroom and public school setting was not a good environment for her needs (There are some internationally adopted children that do well in public school, but this was not a good fit for her). When I began to see this and learn more about Inna's needs, my first reaction was, "Oh NOOOOO, please God tell me your not going to ask me to homeschool", but as we began working with her developmental specialists and other health professionals that see her and looking into other school options EVERYTHING constantly pointed to homeschool. Then, at the very same time, I had Grant who was not being challenged in school. He was in 2nd grade, but testing on a 4th grade level in pretty much every subject. He was completely bored in the regular classroom and when I would talk to his teachers, they would say...we notice that too, but we are doing all that we can to try to keep him challenged (But it still was not enough...he was coming home and try to challenge himself here). He was accepted into the gifted program, but this still is not challenging enough as it is only 1 day a week and he was begging me to let him homeschool. Needless to say, Jason and I have spent many months praying about the best situation for both kids! I always want to do what is best for my kids and although I knew that homeschooling 2 kids that are not on the normal curve of their grade level and 2 different extremes at that would be intense and challenging, but over time, my heart softened to the idea as I could see that it was the best thing for them and I decided to give it a try! It still amazes me how when we say, "Yes" to something God is asking us to do how there is such a strong peace that comes over us even though we know it may be tough...can I get a witness? ha! Now, that I have said, "Yes" I have really felt good about the decision and have enjoyed planning everything out. I cannot tell you how excited Grant is....he is so excited to work at his own pace and knowing that I will make sure he is challenged (got A beka curriculum for him this year) and excited about all the AWESOME field trips of the areas he is interested in that he would not otherwise be able to take and I see a new spark of motivation in him of excitement of the new opportunities. Inna is not big on school yet, but we are really going to be working on some things like life skills, social skills, etc... that should really boost her self esteem and this will give her an honest chance to do well. Also, I had no idea how many people homeschool in our area, but Oh my goodness, there are over 200 families that homeschool in little 'ol town of Prattville alone. We have joined a huge homeschool group (FHE) that offers clubs, extra curriculur activities, homeschool P.E. at the YMCA, and group field trips. Now, we get to have fun deciding which ones to be apart of.
I have explained to Grant, Inna, and Vitali (a little early for Vitali :) that we do not want them to compare themselves to each other academically, because mommy and daddy are going to see what each child's school needs are each year. I told them that there is public school, private school (if we can afford it :), and homeschool and what may be good for one, may not be good for another, so we will place each one in the best learning environment for them individually from year to year.



I do want to add this bit of info because it is hard to find info on this on the web unless you know exactly where to find it. I have researched to no end curriculums and such for kids with special circumstances and I am just SOOOO excited about what I have found for this year. I want to post this to help any adoptive family who may be looking....The UAB IAC gave me info on a program called Smart Start at this link:
http://www.bgcenterschool.org/CourseLibrary/CL2M.shtml
It is a 8 step program designed for internationally adopted children who missed the vital years of brain development and it is designed to help the child's cognition and help place as much as possible the basic building blocks for learning in the brain that were missed in the first years of their life. I have also found some other books that I am excited about for math and reading that approaches the core subjects with basic cognitive developement in mind. The math approach helps with short term/long term memory and the reading book exercises are focused on cognitive development also. I will be glad to share the info I have found with anyone who may be interested in it...just shoot me an email!

Vitali started Kindergarten and is in the regular classroom part of the day and gets special ed services part of the day this year. He loves the idea of going to school and learning, but so far, one of the teachers has to pry him out of the car in the mornings and carries him while he says, "Mama" and wiggles around all the way to his classroom. His regular classroom teacher seems to be concerned with his activity level, but I really think this will get somewhat better once he adjusts to the change. We are all trying to give him a good adjustment time before any changes are made. He has a wonderful Special Ed teacher and she is great with him! I found out at orientation when I met her that she goes to church with us and we didnt even know it...isnt that cool? So, he will get to see her at both places :)

Well, the only other news is that Grant has finally started football again...try outs were today and He is pumped as he has waited for football to start back all year long!

Ok, since it is back to school time...Below is a little fun we have been having from yearbookyourself.com
You can go to website and put your picture in any decade hairstyle and we have had fun laughing at all of them! Here are some we made...

Jason 80's (we think he looks like Greg Brady)/ Mel- 1976
Inna 1958/ Tiff 1982
Vitali 1960's/ Grant 1988

Grant's 8th B-day

First, I want to ask to please let us know if anyone knows someone who can translate Inna's letters from her best friend at orphanage to us from Ukrainian to English and Inna's letters back to her (I type what Inna wants to say in English and then we will need someone to type up in Ukranian). We of course, will pay someone to do this, but would prefer that it be someone that maybe other adoptive families have used and know can be trusted or someone that can be highly recommended :) We do have Ukrainian friends and contacts that live here, but they seem to be all IN Ukraine at this time and we have a friend/translator that we have been using for this that lives in Ukraine, but for someone reason he said he can send out money from Ukraine, but we had a hard time finding a way for it to reach him last time (long story). We hate to keep asking him to do this not knowing if he will ever be able to get paid. We really are not looking for info on just other Ukrainians that live in our area...we have several Ukrainian aquaintances in the states, but do not know them well enough yet to trust them with translating letters from Inna (although probably great people)... we really just need recommendations from other adoptive families that have used someone or from anyone that has someone they would highly recommend to translate at a reasonable price.

On to the birthday-
Grant has turned 8 yrs old and had a fun celebration! He had a swimming party and then 3 of his friends spent the night for a campout. Of course, I called it the "City boys campout" as Jason thought it was too hot to put the tent outside, so papaw "Yo daddy" on the blog) let us borrow a huge tent and they set it up in the sunroom, which had a fan to cool off in this Alabama summer heat. Then later they roasted marshmallows on the gas STOVE! They had a great time playing in the tent and they lasted all of about 30 minutes once lights were out and time for bed. Once they all laid down, Jason said he kept his eyes open just waiting for the first one to be ready to go inside (at least he was praying someone would want to go inside :) And then, it happened....the first boy said, "I'ts really hot", then the second one said, "I'm uncomfortable", and then the third said, "Let's go inside" to which no one had to ask twice...Jason was up and leading the way inside, ha! I had actually already moved some mattresses in the living room with the feeling that at least one of them would be there before the night was over. We hope to have an outside "true campout" when some of this scorching heat calms down :) Then, the next day, we somehow got 7 kids dressed for church and arrived in time to work the nursery (I guess it does help that we live across the street). The 3 boys that spent the night also go to church with us and they thought it was cool to be able to walk this time!

Also this past week...we got to spend 10 days with my brother Caleb before he left for Iraq for 2 years. We werent sure he was going to get to come home first, so we were thankful for such an extended time to spend with him. We sure are going to miss him, but so glad there is technology to keep us in touch! I think we may all try the Skype thing. If you know Caleb, please pray for him during this time or if you are someone who prays for our military, please remember him!

Happy 4th of July!

I love this pic of our little Ukrainian/American boy and the American Flag! It was taken at church at the AWANA awards ceremony.

Speaking of...the kids had awards night for AWANA (the program the kids are in on Wednesday nights at church). They all have LOVED being apart of this during the school year and could not wait until Wednesdays for AWANA night:

Inna actually became a christian as a result of going through her AWANA curriculum and then asking us questions at home! She made it through the first starter part and one section of the book. It may not sound like much, but there are many scriptures and activities in just the starter part and for someone who had never even heard the name Jesus (that we know of) it was a lot for her to meditate on.

Vitali loved "Alana" as he calls it! He was very proud of all the scriptures he repeated after his teachers and proud of having his own book to work through and proud of the badges he earned! He asked every day if today is "ALANA".

Grant also loved this program and was so excited about it that he studied on his own all the time and actually finished the first years book in about half the time and wanted the 2nd years book to start on it early, but they did not have it yet! He has a tremendous gift to remember scripture! He was also so excited at the awards ceremony that he was presented with a special gift for raising the most money out of all the kids for the missions project for children in Brazil. He did not even know that there was going to be a gift for the one that raised the most, so he was pumped! He also had a little help from his Grandmother, Muh, who sent him some money to add to his when she found out he was collecting!
Now, they are in a VBS type program that last all summer long at our church and then AWANA will start back again when school starts.
Here are pics from the ceremony:


Vitali just couldnt get over his award...he was trying so hard to see what everyone else had in their hand until he finally got his!

Grant walking back from getting his award:

Inna before she recieved hers (when it was time for her class, she didnt like being called out and certainly didnt want to walk on the stage, so they had to bring it to her :)

To see how close our church is from our house....this is the kids standing in our front yard and that is our church in the background:

Kids getting ready to walk across the street to church:


Like always...so much has happened since last post...one of those things being Grant's B-day, so I will post those pics when I get em uploaded :)

Hope you have a wonderful 4th! We are going to go see fireworks on the River and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of my brother, Caleb who is just hours away from arriving home from Texas and is coming home from the Army to spend time with us before he leaves for Iraq for 2 years. We will be sad to see him go, but thankful for this time to spend with him this weekend.....and on Independence Day...seems kind of fitting huh?

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Hope in Desperate Conditions

http://www.worldnextdoor.org/2009/04/romaniv-boys-orphanage/comment-page-1/

sorry...you'll have to copy and paste (I dont know how to get it where you can just click on it)

The link above is from a missionary group that is ministering to an orphanage in the same region that Inna and Vitali are from. Jason found the site and we are so moved as it brought back so many thoughts and memories! As you know if you have been reading our blog, Vitali was in a special needs orphanage in this region, except that it was a baby orphanage. Jason and I have often wondered once these special needs children, like Vitali are too old for the baby orphanage where do they go? We did not know of or see an older kids (ages 6-16) orphanage for disabled children while we were in there area and out of 300 kids at Inna's orphanage, we did not see any as disabled as what was at Vitali's orphanage. So, we have often wondered where Vitali and his friends would have gone? When we saw the website above, we couldnt help but wonder if this boy's special needs orphanage would have been where Vitali would have gone since it is in the same region. Thank God, we never know what could have happened and that Vitali does have a family now, but as I read this I couldnt help but think of all the kids in Vitali's group that we played with while there who will be transferring to places like this, if not this exact place and I thank God for the missionaries that go into such conditions and are offering these children hope! The conditions they explain are very similar in some ways to Vitali's orphanage. The smells in both Inna's and Vitali's orphanages were so repulsive that we had to begin wearing deodorant on the bottom of our nose to try to endure being there. We too experienced the constant screaming, crying of kids with no one to hold them. I specifically remember looking through a door and seeing disabled children from Vitali's group walking very slowly with head leaning on the wall with such an obvious fever(bright red cheeks) that they could barely keep their eyes open and yet there is no one to help them! The weirdest thing to us was that the whole time we were visiting Vitali's orphanage, we thought his group of about 14 children were the only ones who lived there, but one of the last days that Jason was there, the director of the orphanage for some reason took Jason into a back room of a seperate building and there was a small room where the most severely handicapped babies 0-5 lived....he witnessed children with no arms or legs propped up on a couch and many other type disabilities.....it sounded just like the setting at the orphanage above. Inna's orphanage did not have children with such disabilities that we saw, but we witnessed some very hard things there too (the same teenagers crying alone in the hallways every single day we were there, kids freely roaming the premises outside, smoking, etc..., the children were only allowed to have a "shower" on Thursdays and 300 kids had to be herded through 3 shower stalls, and forget about ever have their teeth brushed and such. Inna tells us a lot about her orphanage (most of what I could not put on here), but some of the more minor things like she was on the 3rd floor of this HUGE building and at night, they turn off all the lights and there is no adult anywhere nearby. She explained how you couldnt even make it to the bathroom stalls at night because they were on the first floor and it was too scary. In fact, I just spoke to someone the other day who took a missions trip and stayed in a Ukraine orphanage the whole day and evening to see what all goes on and while he was there he even witnessed that now the pimps hang outside of the orphanages waiting to approach the new girls that will be released from the orphanage on that day (meaning they became 17 and "graduated" from the system and are put out with no skills to function well in life.) I know all of this is blunt, but it is truth and it is happening. As Americans, I think it is very hard for us to really understand what these places are like, unless you have been there. Even for Jason and I, I do not believe that there is anyway that we could have remotely "Got it" just having it explained to us if we had never been in a place like this. Basically, once you have been there, those images stay with you (how could they not), but while you are there, you can only rest in the knowledge of that these children are not forgotten by God and He knows each one by name! We don't understand God's ways sometimes, but we know that He explains in the Bible that He cares deeply for the orphans and I truly believe that He does! Because He loves them, he calls missionaries like in the link above to go to them and show them love...it is so encouraging for us to read about missionary groups like the ones above who are sharing God's love with these children and giving them hope and bringing joy into their lives and especially the one above as it very well could have been the place Vitali would have lived if not adopted. May God bless this missionary group and double their efforts!

More Ukraine Adoption Info

We are off to a great summer! We actually had a great 1st week already! We are so past ready to swim in our pool too, but waiting on a new liner next week as our other one bit the dust over the winter.

This week Inna and Vitali had their one yr check up with UAB adoption clinic and my mind is trying to process all the info at this point :) There are always so helpful! I truly cannot express to you all the changes that Inna and Vitali have made in one year! It is just mind-blowing at times. Of course we got all their stats on ht, wt, head circ. and it is no secret that Inna has grown significantly in every way :) She has gone from a size 2 shoe to a size 7 in this one year. Vitali has definitely changed from very baby-like to a little boy in one short year. He just continues to make huge changes, especially cognitively. It is really hard for me to express exactly some of his changes, but even in the last month, I have noticed a real difference in the way he is able to connect to conversation and being more aware of his surroundings. He has begun to show empathy for the first time recently and has started to care a little when he is hurt or someone else is hurt. There was no ability to feel these things before. My jaw just dropped last week when we were on a bike ride and Inna fell off her bike and he looked up at me sadly and out of the blue said (with lots of stuttering in between), "Mommy, I care when Inna gets hurt." Before, he would have been so in his own world that he would have been oblivious that she had even fallen off the bike. He has even been responding to some discipline with genuine crying or genuinely seeming to have some remorse when before he was too hyperactive and impulsive to know or care he was being disciplined. There is still a long way to go, but I am so thankful for these improvements as we did not know for sure if there would ever be the ability for these things. There are so many things that they have come through in a year and I began to type a list and ended up erasing it with the realization that the list is so enormous that I had a hard time choosing what to add to the list :) There is also a long list of things we are still working on :)

We wanted to give more info on Ukraine and adoption and we have really found a particular family's blog to have info that would be helpful if you are in the adoption process. The blog link is....
http://pretreadoptionblog.blogspot.com/
This family seems to be keeping tabs on many things happening in Ukraine, especially the latest news concerning the voting of whether to stop international adoptions from Ukraine. Many families have been praying this week over this and thank God it fell through on Tues for now....you can read more about it on blog link above. If you go back to further posts there is quest/answers for those about to travel. Also, if you go back to their April 8th post, they post the total amount that was spent in their Ukraine adoption of 2 children recently. We have found that their amount matches our total amount almost exactly and probably could help you plan better if you are planning on adopting 2 from Ukraine at this time.
Also, if you are in the adoption process, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND going to their April
1st post for some very important information from the director of the SDA.

No matter what information you find, I would just encourage you not to be discouraged. The financial alone can almost take your breath away, but God is always faithful to provide and if He has called you, He will see you to the end! If you have any specific questions, please feel free to comment or email us.

Just for fun:
Things that we are glad we packed in our suitcase for Ukraine:

- (Especially if you are taking kids) Snacks, lemonade packets (or any juice powder packet to go), coffee...we packed as many snacks as would fit in out suitcases and they lasted maybe the first week. This was especially important when traveling with Grant because you a lot of times are just getting used to everything that 1st week and are at the mercy of others and you may not get to stop and eat or get snacks anywhere...one of our days...we were on the road all day from 5 in the morning and never got to stop anywhere...Jason and I literally didnt get to eat or drink until 8:00 that night because we held all of our snacks for Grant so that at least he could be sure to get something to eat...THANK GOD we packed those snacks and then we had the same situation the next day...we were sad when we ran out of our familiar snacks from home- Mel

- DVD movies to play on computer (All TV was in Ukrainian)- Jason

Things we wish we had NOT packed to take to Ukraine:

- Long Johns- It was cold OUTSIDE, but the heat is government controlled INSIDE Kiev and if you wear long johns outside and you are hot natured at all, you are going to burn up inside the buildings. Put it this way...It was snowing hard outside when we were staying in Kiev and we were sleeping with our windows and balcony doors wide open in our flat because we were sweating so bad inside with no way to control the heat. We were so thankful when April 15th arrived and the government turned off the heat- Mel.

- Power converter because all we needed was the standard adapter for a 110 plug to European 240 volt plug (Check your electronics to see if they can accept 240 volts, because most of ours did)- Jason