Warning: sad post below

Hi guys~ Sorry that I could not post sooner...we did not have internet access in the hotel that we were in and didnt know where to find it. We have ridden in a car over 20 hrs in the past 2 days. Partly, because we rode half way there in heavy snow, but it was beautiful! Talk about a quick weather change. It was very cold in the region that we were in, which is closer to Russia...everyone there spoke Russian instead of Ukranian. The sad news is that we arrived back in Kiev last night. There are many details that I would like to share with you, but it would not be wise for me to post these on a blog. So, to sum it up....These past 2 days have been some of the hardest days we have ever experienced for many reasons and I will share what I can. At our SDA appointment, we chose to visit a little girl that we already knew would have some special needs and we are definitely open to a child with special needs. In fact, she is almost 3 yrs old, but at the appointment, all that could be confirmed about her physical development is that she could move her arms and legs. Once we were at the orphanage and after our pediatrician evaluated, it was clear that there were other things involved. It was one of the hardest things we have ever been through, but Jason and I both knew what we had to do. Because of her condition, she was not aware of her surroundings or maybe that we were even there, but never the less, it was very difficult to leave. I cried most of that evening and then in the middle of the night started back up again and then Jason joined me. We finally prayed together and were able to get some sleep later than night. We don't know the reason why we felt led down that road, but feel that there is a reason for everything. The road is not always easy, sometimes it feels like we are going to not get through it, but we have to keep hold of Jesus love for us and his faithfulness. As for the little girl, we had to spend much time in prayer releasing her to the heavenly father and praying for her best!!! I heard someone say one time that God either calms the storms in our lives or he gives us the strength to go through them and that is what we are praying for right now. I woke up again Wed morning with the thoughts of how hard the journey is right now and being in a whole different country, taking baths in brown water (this is one of my biggest adjustments), how tired and weary we are right now, and that we still had to face the drive back and then what when we get back to Kiev and all of the sudden the thought came to me of one of our favorite movies (I know all of you~ your favorite too) "Facing the Giants" and specifically the scene of the football player on the field whose coach told him to crawl across the field with another player on his back to the 50 yd line and he blindfolded him so he could not see how far he was and quit too soon. As you know, the player was agonizing as he was crawling, saying "Coach, I can't do it, it is too hard, It hurts, I've got to stop" and the coach was following him on the ground screaming, "Don't you stop now, you can do it, KEEP GOING" When the player takes off his blindfold, he had made it all the way to the 100 yd line. This is how I felt that day and I just sensed that God was encouraging me to keep going and that although I didnt feel the strength at the time that I had to depend on HIM and "coaching" if you will and allow Him to be glorified through it all. I also received some "coaching" from Jason as he was feeling a little more ready to face the giants and go forward than I was at the time :) Thank you for all your prayers, please keep them coming! We now will wait on a second appointment, but there are several families that have had similar experiences as us and are also waiting, so we will file in line! There is another family from B-ham, AL in Kiev that we met who was already waiting for another appointment when we left for Donestk and we were kinda sad to leave them, so we are excited to get to spend some time with them as they understand and are going through exactly what we are. Also, everyone has been so supportive and encouraging this past couple of days...our faciliators, pediatrician, social worker back home...we are so thankful for them too! Last night there was not a flat available for us back in Kiev, so the pediatrician that traveled with us and his wife took us into their home and WHAT A BLESSING. They are from the states, but along with working with adoptive families they have medical mission outreach to Ukraine and are AWESOME christians who really comforted us and showed us the love of Christ. When we walked in the door, we were very tired and Dr. Jim's wife Marianna said she wanted to cook us something like we would have back home and had us a wonderful meal of sphagetti ready when we walked in the door. Her home is very much like what we would experience in the states and the beds were so comfortable. We felt like we were in heaven! Marianna gave us so many testimonies of God's faithfulness in their lives here and we were very encouraged! She has a blog too that she is going to post a video that she made of Grant last night on today. So, she said that I could give you the link to her blog. Also, Grant is doing GREAT! Although, we have traveled far and wide lately, he has not complained once and has actually been in a wonderful mood the whole time. He seems to really be enjoying himself. We are going to send a blog later today when there is more time from him as he would like to blog also.
Here is Dr. Jim and Marianna's site...
http://ukrainiac.wordpress.com/

Also, I want to leave you with a video of a song that I have been listening to throughout this adoption process and brought with me on the trip for encouragement. I thought maybe some of you are experiencing hardships this week also and hopefully, it will encourage you like it has me and Jason....please go to your tool bar and paste this you tube video since I dont know how to embed it into the post. Thanks! Mel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQVmR0jV52A